Revision

Now that I have read though it with the comments, I agree with…
· Improving word choice
· Putting in an introductory paragraph
· Include more evidence/detail of examples

I plan to change…
· My habit of not including introductory paragraph
· When I make an introductory paragraph, add in all my points o what will be in my essay.
· My word choice, decrease use of words such as “something, thing”
· Give more variety in word choice

I believe…
· My word choice can be poor at times
· that I am aware of not giving an introductory paragraph